


Anywhere With You (feels like Paris in the rain)

by adhoori



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, spoilers for the finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 07:44:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14890419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adhoori/pseuds/adhoori
Summary: Distantly, as Will talks, he remembers his mother running her fingers through his hair, the music on the TV, their living room smelling like the dinner they’d just had, sparse but comforting. He remembers his mother looking at him, and telling himyou are not a reflection of those who cannot love you. Remember this, Wolfgang.He’d wanted to ask her, what that meant, but something in the way she looked at him stopped him in his tracks.He thinks he understands now, what his mother meant.He’s worth it. To them, he’s worth it.A fic from Wolfgang's PoV, spanning the entire finale.





	Anywhere With You (feels like Paris in the rain)

**Author's Note:**

> I never thought we'd get the OT3 and I certainly never thought I'd be writing fic for it, but here you go. I hope you like it! Title is from Paris in the Rain by Lauv!

_It’s not worth it. I’m not worth it._

Wolfgang thinks he understands now, what his mother meant. Understands what it’s like to have something beautiful, and good and true and _know_ that it’s temporary, it can’t possibly be his to keep. He knows it. Knows it in his bones, even when Kala says _soon_ , knows it even when she says things like _I know what love feels like, because of you_ and fucking _means_ it. Wolfgang knows he’s not going to make it because time passes slowly when you’re in confinement, his thoughts feel heavy, slow, like molasses.

He’s not sure what’s real anymore, except when Kala visits him, when she cradles his head so carefully, when he lets himself rest his head on her shoulders, lets himself forget he’s with the BPO, strapped to a chair, and no matter how real it feels, every time it’s over and he’s back in the chair he’s reminded that Kala isn’t real either.

***

 _You can’t give up_ , she says. _Not you_.

So he tries. If he’s going to end up dead you can be damn sure he’ll take down as many of the suits as he can. He’s one armed but he’s bolstered by the knowledge that they won’t shoot him, they need him alive, they need Whispers.

He ends up back in the chair, but the world is short of a few BPO agents and he’ll take what he can get.

 _Do it,_ he tells the chairman. _Do it_ and he almost means it. He wants them to, if it’ll make him stop seeing his mother, eyes bloodshot, lips swollen, _I’m not worth it_. He wants them to, if it’ll make him stop remembering how it felt to choke his father to death and watch him burn, how it broke something inside of him, something he didn’t know was alive.

***

He almost doesn’t believe it when they hand him his clothes. _Soon_ isn’t a faraway, vague thing anymore, _soon_ is now, _soon_ is his cluster, his _family_ , his Kala, coming for him because to them, he was worth it.

***

The club is noisy and the flashing lights don’t make it easy, but he gets a brief moment with Kala and if this was how far he got, if he doesn’t make it out of this, he’ll die a happy man. It takes him a second longer to realize that Rajan was with them and _oh,_ his time is probably up. This is it, then. Wolfgang feels it when he swallows around the lump in his throat, he feels it slot into place between his ribs, this feeling of loss. And he thought he was prepared, because there’s never been a scenario where this works out but it still takes him by surprise.

“She’s with Lito and the others,” he says, talking around the frantic beating of his heart, around the litany of _it’s over, it’s over, it’s over_ in his head.

***

They’re at the villa and he’s pleasantly full, slightly buzzed and happy, despite everything. He’ll never get used to it, he thinks. This feeling of _fullness_ . Of being happy and then feeling it eight times over. Of the constant thrum of _family_ that just lives in him now. Of knowing another person, of _being_ another person of loving another person.

He looks at Rajan who’s glanced at his watch for the third time and grabs an open bottle of wine. He thinks he gets it now, why Kala was confused, why she fell in love with him. He’s a better man than Wolfgang will ever be and Kala deserves it.

Wolfgang thanks him, and thinks that if this is the man Kala chooses, it will have been worth it.

“I did what I could,” Rajan says and Wolfgang is surprised to hear how sincere he sounds, his eyes full of kindness. _He’s not lying_ . After all that he’d heard, after knowing about him and Kala, Rajan’s first instinct was to help him. Rajan puts his hand on Wolfgang’s shoulder the warmth seeping through and Wolfgang briefly feels the tendril of electricity with the stray thought of _I wonder what it’d be like to kiss him_ and _oh fuck_ , _of course._

***

He watches Kala walk towards Rajan, she looks radiant and happy and like she _belongs_ . She’s careful in the way she touches his face but he can feel her happiness, feel it bubble up inside of him. _I married a good man._ She did. She really did.

But then she walks towards him and stops right in front of him, her hand outstretched. He brings his palm closer, touching but not quite, because if this is the last time then he wants to remember this for the rest of his life because nothing will ever compare to this. Knowing how much you love someone, how it feels like he’s not built to carry this much love, like his heart will give out, and then feeling it twofold.

The sun shining down on them, Kala’s legs wrapped around him, the way she fits right in, Wolfgang is half afraid he’s going to wake up strapped to a chair with the chairman waving a gun at him. But he’s here, _this is real, Kala is real_ , the way she smells like home is real.

***

Rajan brings in the champagne and there’s food on the table, they’re laughing, they’re _here_ , _they survived_ and he feels achingly full with gratitude, with love.

“I want to say something,” he says and clears his throat. “I have lived, much of my life with one friend, my one brother. And I never knew, what it was like to have people in your life, that would fight for someone like me, thank you,” he finishes, strangely embarrassed but infinitely grateful.

“You big german lug, we love you,” Lito says, laughing, pulling him into a hug.

Wolfgang’s face floods with heat but he can’t bring himself to care too much when he presses his lips to Kala’s temple. Rajan smiles kindly at him, squeezing his shoulder and Wolfgang thinks he will never stop being surprised.

Distantly, as Will talks, he remembers his mother running her fingers through his hair, the music on the TV, their living room smelling like the dinner they’d just had, sparse but comforting. He remembers his mother looking at him, and telling him _you are not a reflection of those who cannot love you. Remember this, Wolfgang_. He’d wanted to ask her, what that meant, but something in the way she looked at him stopped him in his tracks.

He thinks he understands now, what his mother meant. _He’s worth it. To them, he’s worth it._

***

Naples is stunning. In another life, he thinks he’d have liked to come here with Kala, their days spread out in front of them, nothing to do, no one to hide from. He likes to think they’d go to every cafe, eat every kind of pizza there is, drink just enough wine to feel it tingling beneath his fingertips as he trailed them across her back, at the dip in her spine, beneath the swell of her breasts while she kissed him like she always did; focused, careful and achingly sweet, her hands leaving pockets of heat wherever they touched him.

But they’re here on a mission. He listens to Rajan talk about Naples and watches the way Kala leans into him ever so slightly and misses the life he’ll never have with a ferocity that startles him.

***

Rajan’s eyes are wide and Wolfgang can’t tell if he’s scared of Kala or disgusted or both. Neither can Kala.

“My wife,” he mumbles, “...a killer.”

Wolfgang winces internally, he’s done it again. Ruined a good thing.

“Teach me,” Rajan says, and there’s a manic kind of excitement on his face.

He feels a wave of affection run through him that’s mirrored by Kala.   _They don’t deserve him_.

Wait. _They?_

***

He feels it in his bones, the gunshot. Feels the pain run through his blood like wildfire, his mind blank with shock, his body locked in place. It takes them a while to come back, to dissociate from Kala and he rushes to the room but she’s lying there, her hand stained with blood and _no_ . This can’t be how they lose her, _not like this, not now_.

Wolfgang had almost forgotten that while the happiness came eightfold, so did the pain. He feels the tears streaming down his face as he holds her limp body in his arms. _No, no, no, no._ He’s Wolfgang but he’s also Capheus, Will, Riley, Nomi, Sun and Lito. He’s one person and he’s all of them and grief crashes into him in waves.

Rajan is here too, he’s crying and Wolfgang almost wants to trade places just so he can feel less.

Kala comes back, with an air of _do I have to do everything here_ and Wolfgang shares a look with Rajan and knows they will never love anyone else.

***

Later, when the war is over and when he will crash into bed, he’ll remember this feeling. How it felt to see that helicopter smash into pieces, to know that they _survived,_ that they _conquered_ and lived to tell the tale.

Later, he’ll remember feeling like it was finally over, their fight and his time with Kala and maybe he should’ve been more present, should’ve been more mindful, should’ve cataloged everything more clearly before it was over and she inevitably chose Rajan.

Later, he will think of this. Right now, Wolfgang needs a shower and three years worth of sleep.

In a moment of weakness, he lets himself visit Kala in her room. Curls an arm around her waist and buries his face in her neck. Half asleep in Rajan’s arms, she still shifts closer to Wolfgang and for a moment he thinks Rajan’s eyes flit over Kala’s shoulders as if he can see Wolfgang, but he knows that can’t be true. He closes his eyes and lets himself have this. Rajan shuts his eyes, holding Kala close. This’ll be the last time, Wolfgang swears. They deserve better. He may be worth it, but he’s not _worthy_ , not of this.

***

Wolfgang absolutely does not cry at Nomi’s wedding. _He doesn’t_. Felix laughs in his face when he tries to deny it.

He thinks about Amanita’s words, they ring in his ears in a way that feels important. He hopes he can find that again someday. Kala was that feeling. Kala was the smell of hot samosas and _chai_ on a rainy day and he knows this without ever having experienced either of these things. Kala was the tidal wave of happiness, the one that makes you feel buoyant, light, makes the world feel full of possibilities. Kala _was_ his big feeling, the kind that changed his life, but she wasn’t his to have. Surely, this was it. Rajan had extended great kindness to him, the kind he didn’t deserve, but it was temporary. Soon, they would return to India and Wolfgang, to god knows where and maybe if he’s lucky, they’ll let him visit.

Soon, there are fireworks and the music changes to something peppy and sheer happiness of the cluster carries him over. For a while, he forgets about everything and stays in the moment. It takes two more glasses of the champagne to start dancing with Rajan and Kala, one more, two slow dance with Kala while her back is pressed against Rajan’s. Rajan looks at them with something akin to affection and Wolfgang decides he’s not nearly drunk enough to start figuring out what _that_ might mean.

The party dies down eventually, Rajan and Kala slip away to give their wedding present to Nomi and Amanita, everyone else taking the opportunity to slip away to their rooms. Wolfgang grabs a bottle of wine and a glass and makes his way to his room.

***

He takes the suit off, kicks his shoes into a corner and takes off his shirt before pouring himself another glass. Wolfgang wonders if it’d be masochistic to visit the others, just for a little bit, just to let himself forget. He can already feel the low stirrings of arousal, their feelings overlapping with his own, when his door opens and Kala walks in with Rajan

He doesn’t move from his position on the bed, his glass still in his hands, as he watches Kala kiss Rajan, her arms wrapped loosely around his neck and _oh_ . _The three of them_ \- he forgets to finish that thought, letting his eyes linger on them, the wine having loosened his inhibitions. Kala pulls back and lets her eyes flit towards him and he _wants_. Wants whatever this is, for however long they’ll let him have it. In a bold move, he pats the space on the bed next to him, raising an eyebrow, smirking at them. Egging them on.

He sucks in a sharp breath when Kala tilts her head in a _yes_ and Rajan follows suit. _Fuck,_ he hadn’t thought this far ahead. This wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities he’d considered. Kala does his work for him when she, presses herself against him, kissing him with abandon while Rajan watched them. Wolfgang loves this. This is the sweet spot, the one where _just enough_ of Kala’s control is stripped away, the way she gets so wet for it.

And he’ll never get used to this. Because he’s Wolfgang kissing Kala while Rajan leaves slow, lingering kisses on the nape of her neck, but he’s also Kala kissing Wolfgang and Will kissing Riley, slow and incredulous because they get to have this, they get to keep it. He’s Nomi kissing her way down Amanita’s body, alight with the feeling of belonging to someone. He’s Sun’s laugh as Mun flicks his socks off and Capheus’ choked voice as he’s being touched. He’s Riley kissing Will, unable to believe that a DJ from Iceland a cop from Chicago get to ride off into the sunset. He’s Wolfgang kissing Kala, slipping his hands down her underwear. He’s Wolfgang but he’s also Lito kissing Hernando while Dani watched, and it’s almost too much and not enough at the same time.

Kala pulls away Wolfgang looks at Rajan and thinks it would be easy to fall in love with this man. With his easy smile and a huge heart. Wolfgang has been with men before, but it’s easy to tell Rajan hasn’t. He brushes his thumb across Rajan’s lower lip, cradling his jaw, watching Rajan’s eyes darken. He inches closer, cupping Rajan’s face before kissing him slowly, his nerves on fire when Kala lets out a choked moan. _Yeah, he could get used to this_ , he thinks and it’s the last thought for a long time.

***

Morning comes when the sun is too bright behind his eyes. He opens his eyes, bleary for a second, his body sore in all the right places, holding Kala close to his chest even as she rests her head on Rajan’s arm, one of her arms loosely thrown around his waist. His eyes flit to Rajan who is looking at him but not _at_ him.

“You okay?” Wolfgang asks, his voice hoarse from disuse.

Rajan looks at him and smiles cautiously, “I didn’t- I didn’t know it could be like this,” he says, his face alight with wonder and Wolfgang smiles helplessly. Kala stirs, but doesn’t wake up and takes a moment to gather his thoughts.

“It can be whatever you want it to be,” he says, finally. _I’m giving you a choice to back out,_ he thinks, half terrified Rajan will take him up on it.

He watches Rajan breathe deeply and trail his fingers through Kala’s hair. “No I-this is perfect.” He smiles, a little wary and a lot shy, as if Wolfgang is going to say _no_ and Wolfgang thinks he will never deserve this. Not if he lives to a hundred. He extricates his arms from around Kala and leans over to kiss Rajan soundly, swallowing his brief surprise before he kisses him back.

Wolfgang pulls back, laughing when he hears a sleep-addled, mock upset, Kala. “You guys couldn’t wait for me to wake up?”

 _Yeah, they’ll be just fine_.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment/kudos if you liked it!!  
> Come find me on [tumblr](http://www.nomadevans.tumblr.com)and we can flail about these 3. Who knows, I might be inclined to write more in this verse :)
> 
> The line "You are not a reflection of those who cannot love you." is not my own, I found it on tumblr! Some dialogue is from the show and of course, everything belongs to Netflix.


End file.
